Yelling at Kids - In the New York Times

The Dad just sent me this article.  I just read it.  After a morning so difficult for all of us that I left O standing naked at the window, screaming, as I pulled out of the driveway to take E to school.

And I felt awful.  More awful than I did already.

Things have been a bit difficult here lately.  Among other things, O's having a hard time transitioning to nursery school.  Once there and settled, he's doing great, but at home?  He is contrary, demanding, sad, and attached to the hem of my shirt or waist of my pants.  And I am trying to be patient.  But I get frustrated, too, and honestly?  I get tired of having him cling to me.

This article?  Really?  Makes me sad.  Not in the "How could people treat their children like that?" sad, but "How did I become this person and what am I doing?" sad.

The yelling in our house hasn't actually been going on for that long.  We have not always been yellers.  But it's worse than it was a year ago.  And better than it was 4 months ago.  And something we're working on.  And talking about.  And working on some more.

But the question I have is "Why do we have to work on it?"  Why is it not something we can acknowledge and change.  How have our reserves have gotten so low that as hard as we feel we are trying we are still so impatient and quick to anger.  Because that is really what needs to be fixed.  That is the root of the problem.  The yelling is really only a symptom, I think.

So that is the challenge I begin to day.  To fill us back up.  To restore peace in the house - even when we feel we are stretched to our limits.  To ensure that at every moment our children know that we love them as much as we do - to the tips of our toes - so deep that it hurts.  That is the challenge.

1 comment:

  1. I saw the NY Times article but didn't read it. I had a feeling that it would make me feel bad, too.

    I haven't been reading your blog long so I don't know your schedule, but I know that I am less patient and more likely to yell when our schedule is hectic. Not that I can do anything about the schedule -- we need two incomes to pay our basic bills, so there is a lot of "ships passing in the night" going on here :-). It is more a function of societal pressures rather than a failing in us as parents. I just keep reminding myself that it isn't the kids' fault that I have too much to do.